Either I just pee'd my pants or...!!
June 20 was just another Thursday - got up, went to work, discussed plans for the weekend, projects to finish up before the baby comes... Well apparently Ben had other plans!
Around 2:30pm, I got up from my desk to go to the bathroom. I tinkled my usual tablespoon and was washing my hands when I felt veeeeeery soggy in my pants. Did I just pee my pants? No, I couldn't have - clearly my bladder was empty! Did my water...DID MY WATER JUST BREAK?!?! Holy crap - what to do, what to do, what to do!? Back to the toilet so I don't make a mess on my pants! Baby moving? Check! Contractions? Nope, dammit. Clear fluid? Check! Ok, labor nurse questions are all good sooooooo……now what? How do I get off this toilet without making a mess? Ready...go! Nope, still leaking. Reeeeeeeady go! And I made it to the bathroom door. Thankfully it's almost directly across from the nurse's office. I called for one of the nurses to bring my phone and three large pads. She came a-runnin'!!
Back to the toilet - the water was open and there was no going back! I thought of all the ways I could tell Jessica. Here's how the conversation went:
Jessica: Helllllooooo?? (she always answers the phone sounding totally confused as to who's on the other side of the phone, even though she has caller ID and she know's it's her wife)
Me: Hey soooo, you that phone call you've been waiting for...?? (I had a few rounds of calling then not leaving a voicemail then getting busy at work resulting in a panicked wife texting "I need to hear from you!!!")
Jess: Yeah...??? (totally confused)
Me: Well, this is it - my water just broke!
Jess: You're kidding me - this isn't funny.
Me: Not kidding, it's really broken.
Jess: How do you...? What do we...? How did...? What?! Really? You're not kidding me? You're kidding. This isn't funny.
Me: I'm totally serious. So I'm going to call the birth center and get a plan going. Then I'm going to wrap up some things here and I'll meet you at home.
Jess: Yeah. Ok. Let's do that. So I'll wrap up stuff too and meet you at home. Crap, we didn't pack the bag. Are you ok? Are you having contractions? Holy crap, we're going to meet our boy soon!! Holy crap!!! *CLICK*
The birth center said to head on home, have some protein and some carbs, and try our best to rest. Was she serious!? I'm too excited to sleep!! Midwife's orders though! Check in around 7:30/8pm and we'll go from there...need some antibiotics for that pesky GBS so we made a plan to come in at 9pm.
By the time I got out of the bathroom, after making my calls from inside the bathroom, the entire office of ladies was in the hall way. I hear now, almost 4 months later, that my good buddy Mindy went around the office saying “Kim’s water just broke! Don’t tell anyone”…to everyone in the office. Love her! Everyone gets excited for a baby to come! It was so sweet how concerned they were. “Do you need us to drive you home? Is Jess coming to pick you up? Do you need one of the doctors to help you?” (Fertility doctors...formerly OBGYN but not for a loooong time). They were pretty funny about me driving myself home.
At home, we got the bag packed, the dog food all made, the house cleaned up, had a snack, and attempted to lay down. I really wanted to watch some Big Bang Theory because it always makes me laugh and would be a good distraction. The dogs, Jess, and I piled up in the bed for some rest and snuggles. I started contracting on my own pretty regularly but nothing crazy.
Nine rolled around and we headed to the birth center. They started an IV, put in some antibiotics and fluid, listened to the baby, and we made a plan to come back at 1am. Back home for some more rest! I think we may have actually slept a little. One AM, same story up to Chapel Hill. If things weren't really kicking by 5am, they were recommending caster oil. We stopped by the store after heading home from the 1am visit and picked up the oil. Which turned out to be goopy rather than oily. So gross. They recommended mixing it in a milk shake. Interesting... Some vanilla frozen yogurt and frozen strawberries seemed pretty ok to make a "milk shake"...down the hatch. Yuck.
At 5am we headed back to the birth center, bag and pillows...and milk shake...in tow, ready to stay for the duration. They recommended we try to sleep a little more and get the ball rolling around 8am. Surprisingly we slept! At 8am, we got up, bound up the belly to help him engage in my pelvis, started walking around the parking lot, and up the stairs. My goal was 10 rounds of stairs and parking lot and I think I only made 6 before I was contracting regularly. The acupuncturist showed up to work some inducing magic. Unfortunately, during the session, I was doing a little (ok, a lot) of throwing up...pretty much after every contraction. Now was this the caster oil? Maybe? Was this the labor? Maybe? Who knows. I felt so bad because I'm sure acupuncturists aren't used to holding the barf bucket...that's not really their cup of tea. But she was great. She told me about how she was a puker during her own labor too so that made me feel a lot better!
Whatever it was - acupuncture, stairs, walking, binding, caster oil, timing - it was working and I was in labor!!! I think that was 9:00 or 10am?
So, we asked the midwife what the plan was around 1pm and she decided to check. I had it in my mind that I'd be only 1 or 2 but I was 5cm! That was a huge boost because it hasn't actually been that hard. I got in the shower - which was awesome! A few hours later, I asked her to check because I was feeling pressure. Only 6cm. A few more hours later...only 7cm. That's when I got really bummed. I know it was my first baby and I was making decent change, I still felt discouraged. I think that was like 3 or 4 pm? I needed some rest so she offered a shot of pain meds. And anti nausea because I was barfing up a storm! So I took it. I was able to rest and sleep between the contractions but each contraction still woke me up. Well, a few hours later I was like 9.75cm and he was super low! Yay!! We all thought he'd be born at like 10pm.
Well, she let me start pushing around 9pm because that lip (the 0.25cm left) was soft and she thought it'd go away. Two hours later, no baby, so she check and the lip is still there. Yuck! She wanted to see if she could reduce it - hold it up with her fingers while I pushed his head down past it. That hurt like a f***ing b**ch!!! Excuse my French…So terrible. Like the worst thing of my life. She felt like it went away so I pushed for a little while more.
Two-thirty AM rolls around and no baby. The midwife wanted to talk about heading to the hospital for an epidural and some pitocin. Sounded reasonable to me as I was exhausted . We went in the car and it was the shittiest drive in. They were awesome for getting the epidural in ASAP. The nurse told anesthesia "she's a former labor and delivery nurse and is 10cm dilated - can you skip the schpeal?" So she did! It was awesome - slam jam on the way to being comfortable. The epidural wasn’t that bad.
Once I got comfortable, ish, the contractions spaced out to like 8-10 min and that's not enough to get a baby out! So they started the pitocin and increased it every 15 min or so. It wasn’t bad because of the epidural but I still definitely felt my contractions. So that was 3-5:25am.
I started pushing again at 5:25am and continued to push with every contraction. The contractions were back to hurting and I’m pretty sure some veins were about to pop out of my head from pushing so hard. Seven AM rolled around, still no baby. And I was DONE. The midwife went to talk to the doctors and I started crying. I told the nurse, bless her heart, that I was over it and they needed to vacuum this kid out of me because I don’t know if I can push any longer. I think I almost begged for it. (At that point she decided he was sunny side up and just wasn’t coming out).
The dr came in and worked some kind of magic and he descended a LOT and was basically crowning within 20 minutes. The epidural wasn’t really giving much relief in my vag area (but legs totally numb!) a few contractions and big pushes later, he came out at 7:26am – vacuum free!!! His little head wasn't straight front or back but off to the side AND his little hand was right next to his face. I felt every single thing. Which I guess is what I wanted in the first place! 6lb14oz, 19 inches. Head full of black hair.
They put him on my chest and he was wailing – It was truly most amazing feeling ever. Relief, love, so many emotions. Completely overwhelming. I remember laying there, with him on my chest, looking at Jessica and thinking that have never loved her more. I never knew it was possible to love him so much right away too. It's totally true. That actually does happen. I also remember having him there for a minute or so, then lifting him up because I hadn’t actually seen his face. I said “Oh he is cute!!” Apparently I was nervous he wouldn’t be…?
Four months later he’s the light of my life, my little buddy. He’s growing such a cute little personality and is right on the verge of totally cracking up. Life isn’t the same with him – it’s 100% beter.
So that's about it! Pretty nutty.
And now, the photos :)
