37 weeks and 1 day...and 2 days...and 3 days

Either I just pee'd my pants or...!!

June 20 was just another Thursday - got up, went to work, discussed plans for the weekend, projects to finish up before the baby comes... Well apparently Ben had other plans!

Around 2:30pm, I got up from my desk to go to the bathroom. I tinkled my usual tablespoon and was washing my hands when I felt veeeeeery soggy in my pants. Did I just pee my pants? No, I couldn't have - clearly my bladder was empty! Did my water...DID MY WATER JUST BREAK?!?! Holy crap - what to do, what to do, what to do!? Back to the toilet so I don't make a mess on my pants! Baby moving? Check! Contractions? Nope, dammit. Clear fluid? Check! Ok, labor nurse questions are all good sooooooo……now what? How do I get off this toilet without making a mess? Ready...go! Nope, still leaking. Reeeeeeeady go! And I made it to the bathroom door. Thankfully it's almost directly across from the nurse's office. I called for one of the nurses to bring my phone and three large pads. She came a-runnin'!!

Back to the toilet - the water was open and there was no going back! I thought of all the ways I could tell Jessica. Here's how the conversation went:

Jessica: Helllllooooo?? (she always answers the phone sounding totally confused as to who's on the other side of the phone, even though she has caller ID and she know's it's her wife)

Me: Hey soooo, you that phone call you've been waiting for...?? (I had a few rounds of calling then not leaving a voicemail then getting busy at work resulting in a panicked wife texting "I need to hear from you!!!")

Jess: Yeah...??? (totally confused)

Me: Well, this is it - my water just broke!

Jess: You're kidding me - this isn't funny.

Me: Not kidding, it's really broken.

Jess: How do you...? What do we...? How did...? What?! Really? You're not kidding me? You're kidding. This isn't funny.

Me: I'm totally serious. So I'm going to call the birth center and get a plan going. Then I'm going to wrap up some things here and I'll meet you at home.

Jess: Yeah. Ok. Let's do that. So I'll wrap up stuff too and meet you at home. Crap, we didn't pack the bag. Are you ok? Are you having contractions? Holy crap, we're going to meet our boy soon!! Holy crap!!!  *CLICK*

The birth center said to head on home, have some protein and some carbs, and try our best to rest. Was she serious!? I'm too excited to sleep!! Midwife's orders though! Check in around 7:30/8pm and we'll go from there...need some antibiotics for that pesky GBS so we made a plan to come in at 9pm.

By the time I got out of the bathroom, after making my calls from inside the bathroom, the entire office of ladies was in the hall way. I hear now, almost 4 months later, that my good buddy Mindy went around the office saying “Kim’s water just broke!  Don’t tell anyone”…to everyone in the office.  Love her!  Everyone gets excited for a baby to come! It was so sweet how concerned they were. “Do you need us to drive you home? Is Jess coming to pick you up? Do you need one of the doctors to help you?” (Fertility doctors...formerly OBGYN but not for a loooong time). They were pretty funny about me driving myself home.

At home, we got the bag packed, the dog food all made, the house cleaned up, had a snack, and attempted to lay down. I really wanted to watch some Big Bang Theory because it always makes me laugh and would be a good distraction. The dogs, Jess, and I piled up in the bed for some rest and snuggles. I started contracting on my own pretty regularly but nothing crazy.

Nine rolled around and we headed to the birth center. They started an IV, put in some antibiotics and fluid, listened to the baby, and we made a plan to come back at 1am. Back home for some more rest! I think we may have actually slept a little. One AM, same story up to Chapel Hill. If things weren't really kicking by 5am, they were recommending caster oil. We stopped by the store after heading home from the 1am visit and picked up the oil. Which turned out to be goopy rather than oily. So gross. They recommended mixing it in a milk shake. Interesting... Some vanilla frozen yogurt and frozen strawberries seemed pretty ok to make a "milk shake"...down the hatch. Yuck.

At 5am we headed back to the birth center, bag and pillows...and milk shake...in tow, ready to stay for the duration. They recommended we try to sleep a little more and get the ball rolling around 8am. Surprisingly we slept! At 8am, we got up, bound up the belly to help him engage in my pelvis, started walking around the parking lot, and up the stairs. My goal was 10 rounds of stairs and parking lot and I think I only made 6 before I was contracting regularly. The acupuncturist showed up to work some inducing magic. Unfortunately, during the session, I was doing a little (ok, a lot) of throwing up...pretty much after every contraction. Now was this the caster oil? Maybe? Was this the labor? Maybe? Who knows. I felt so bad because I'm sure acupuncturists aren't used to holding the barf bucket...that's not really their cup of tea. But she was great. She told me about how she was a puker during her own labor too so that made me feel a lot better!

Whatever it was - acupuncture, stairs, walking, binding, caster oil, timing - it was working and I was in labor!!! I think that was 9:00 or 10am?

So, we asked the midwife what the plan was around 1pm and she decided to check. I had it in my mind that I'd be only 1 or 2 but I was 5cm! That was a huge boost because it hasn't actually been that hard. I got in the shower - which was awesome! A few hours later, I asked her to check because I was feeling pressure. Only 6cm. A few more hours later...only 7cm. That's when I got really bummed. I know it was my first baby and I was making decent change, I still felt discouraged.  I think that was like 3 or 4 pm? I needed some rest so she offered a shot of pain meds. And anti nausea because I was barfing up a storm! So I took it. I was able to rest and sleep between the contractions but each contraction still woke me up. Well, a few hours later I was like 9.75cm and he was super low! Yay!! We all thought he'd be born at like 10pm.

Well, she let me start pushing around 9pm because that lip (the 0.25cm left) was soft and she thought it'd go away. Two hours later, no baby, so she check and the lip is still there. Yuck! She wanted to see if she could reduce it - hold it up with her fingers while I pushed his head down past it. That hurt like a f***ing b**ch!!! Excuse my French…So terrible. Like the worst thing of my life. She felt like it went away so I pushed for a little while more.

Two-thirty AM rolls around and no baby.  The midwife wanted to talk about heading to the hospital for an epidural and some pitocin. Sounded reasonable to me as I was exhausted . We went in the car and it was the shittiest drive in. They were awesome for getting the epidural in ASAP. The nurse told anesthesia "she's a former labor and delivery nurse and is 10cm dilated - can you skip the schpeal?" So she did! It was awesome - slam jam on the way to being comfortable. The epidural wasn’t that bad.

Once I got comfortable, ish, the contractions spaced out to like 8-10 min and that's not enough to get a baby out! So they started the pitocin and increased it every 15 min or so. It wasn’t bad because of the epidural but I still definitely felt my contractions. So that was 3-5:25am.

I started pushing again at 5:25am and continued to push with every contraction. The contractions were back to hurting and I’m pretty sure some veins were about to pop out of my head from pushing so hard.  Seven AM rolled around, still no baby.  And I was DONE.  The midwife went to talk to the doctors and I started crying. I told the nurse, bless her heart, that I was over it and they needed to vacuum this kid out of me because I don’t know if I can push any longer.  I think I almost begged for it.  (At that point she decided he was sunny side up and just wasn’t coming out).

The dr came in and worked some kind of magic and he descended a LOT and was basically crowning within 20 minutes. The epidural wasn’t really giving much relief in my vag area (but legs totally numb!) a few contractions and big pushes later, he came out at 7:26am – vacuum free!!! His little head wasn't straight front or back but off to the side AND his little hand was right next to his face.  I felt every single thing. Which I guess is what I wanted in the first place! 6lb14oz, 19 inches. Head full of black hair.

They put him on my chest and he was wailing – It was truly most amazing feeling ever. Relief, love, so many emotions. Completely overwhelming. I remember laying there, with him on my chest, looking at Jessica and thinking that have never loved her more.  I never knew it was possible to love him so much right away too. It's totally true. That actually does happen.  I also remember having him there for a minute or so, then lifting him up because I hadn’t actually seen his face.  I said “Oh he is cute!!”  Apparently I was nervous he wouldn’t be…?

Four months later he’s the light of my life, my little buddy.  He’s growing such a cute little personality and is right on the verge of totally cracking up.  Life isn’t the same with him – it’s 100% beter.

So that's about it! Pretty nutty.

And now, the photos :)

37 Weeks

Thirty seven weeks...term...fully cooked...ready to roll! Like most weeks, I can't believe that the pregnancy has gone so fast. I'm definitely feeling very pregnant - back pain, trouble sleeping, swollen feet...well, swollen everything! The feet/leg/everything swelling is starting to get old - Mr Man can make his debut ANY time now.

During our 37 week appointment, I learned I am GBS positive. GBS is a bacteria in the birth canal that some women just have. It can be troublesome to the baby during labor and birth so, if present, the mama gets antibiotics every 4 hours during labor. Annoying? Yes. Disappointing? Slightly. End of the world? Hardly.

Thirty seven weeks also marks the "ok to deliver at the birth center" gestation! Yay!! Come on little dude!

Am I ready for this munchkin to come out? Yes and no. Physically, I'm pretty ready to not be pregnant anymore. Mentally and emotionally, I'm getting scared. I'm scared of a lot of things that will be coming in the next few weeks. Labor, first of all! I've been around my fair share, and lots of people's fair share, of pregnant and laboring ladies as an 8 year labor and delivery nurse. It definitely doesn't look like it tickles! I think this could be an advantage of sorts because maybe it won't be as bad as I think it may be. I might get surprised. I might get surprised?

I'm scared about being a mama too. All of the what if's keep coming to mind and consuming a lot of my thoughts. What if I seriously mess him up!? What if I'm really not a good mother? What if something horrible happens to him and he's taken from us (not by the child protective services...). What if he grows up and moves out!? What if he's a nightmare and ends up in jail? What if I don't know what to do to/what to say/how to be involved/push just hard enough...?

On the flip side, I'm so ready to meet this little creature. I'm ready to learn how to be his mother, how to comfort him when he needs it, how to nurture him to grow to be the kind of man many strive to be. I'm ready to look into his eyes in the middle of the night, exhausted, as he has a late night snack. I'm ready for his little fingers to curl around mine. I'm ready.



How far along: 37 wks

Total weight gain: 34lbs

Maternity clothes: Oh yeah

Symptoms: Ummm, being 9 months pregnant?

Stretch marks: Still just the one, thankfully

Sleep: Still challenging but I haven't slept in the glider in a few days

Best moment of this week: Turning 37 weeks

What's new this week: He's approximately 19 inches and 6.3lbs. His growth is starting to slow down just a little bit and he's busy practicing for life on the outside. I'm waiting for him to drop - I think he may have started a little bit but nothing significant. We're supposed to pack a bag...does having a few items in a laundry basket with the bag next to it count? And a list on the iphone?

Miss anything: Lots of things - sleeping well, good beer, normal shoes

Movement: I consistently have sharp jabs and kicks to my left side, right under (and sometimes way up in) my rib. Rarely is there any movement on my right side - almost always left. Sometimes I feel like he stretches so hard that I can grab his foot or knee, or whatever that is, from the outside.

Food cravings: The usual...ice water is new this week. Can't get enough of the chilly cold H2O goodness

Anything making you queasy or sick: Thinking about being pregnant for another 5 weeks!

Have you started to show yet: Nah, I just swallowed a basketball

Gender: Still a boy

Labor signs: Today, right on the 37 week mark, I did have quite a few Braxton Hicks contractions. They started to get a little more regular and pretty tight but nothing that caused cramps or anything close to real labor.

Belly button in or out: Definitely out

Wedding rings on or off: Off. I miss them.

Happy or moody most of the time: Tired

Looking forward to: Seeing that sweet little face!

They just keep getting bigger...not really fitting in the flops anymore.  You know those surgical booties?  Yeah, those have become my work "shoes"

36 Weeks

This past weekend was great!  Casie, my sister and excited auntie-to-be, hosted a lovely baby shower.  Invited to this one were our friends from Raleigh, some work friends, and of course the grandmas!  It was at Casie’s house in Pittsboro and we had a pretty good turn out.  I think my favorite part, aside from all of the guests, were the lemon cupcakes!  I’m still dreaming of those bad boys!  She seriously needs to make a bakery business or some kind of catering business.  Well maybe not because I’d buy (and eat) all of her cupcakes…

          

Susie, Ann, and Megan

Gma Donna and Jessica

Megan, Michele, and Ann

In other news this week, I have to call the insurance company to order my breast pump.  I found out midway through the pregnancy that Cigna views breastfeeding as “preventative care” and that results in us getting a breast pump covered at 100%!  Yay!!  I guess insurance companies can surprise you so times – in a good way!  They’re delivering a double electric pump in about a week – yay again!

Also in other news, I went to the chiropractor for the first time.  I was having some pain in my sciatic area and walking like a complete gimp so I figured I’d give it a whirl.  He cracked my back and then went for my neck.  I was NOT prepared for him to give it a crack!  The first crack this way went ok because it caught me by surprise but the second crack that way was yuck!  I knew it was coming!  They found out that a 25 minute massage and an adjustment was also covered by the insurance company so that’s a bonus!  I need to make a follow up appointment with them at the office that’s down by my work so I can take advantage of that!  Who doesn’t love a massage – even for 25 minutes!

How far along:  36 weeks 

Total weight gain:  I think about 30 lbs total 

Maternity clothes:  Oh yeah - and I'm pretty happy with my baby shower dress!  So comfy!

Symptoms:  I can't think of anything else clever for this answer anymore!

Stretch marks:  Still just the one - whew!

Sleep:  I'm feeling a little first trimester-y again.  Falling asleep on the couch after work, waking up for dinner...

Best moment of this week:  Baby shower fun!

What's new this week:  He's just gaining weight, practicing breathing, and swallowing.  Getting ready for life on the outside!!  Come on buddy - I can't wait to meet you!

Miss anything: My ankles

Movement:  Like a wild man.  I can't wait to see those little feet that have been consistently jabbing my left side for the past 10 weeks!

Food cravings:  Still thinking watermelon is pretty awesome

Anything making you queasy or sick:  Nope

Have you started to show yet:  Oh yeah

Gender:  Little bouncing baby boy

Labor signs:  Nothing yet

Belly button in or out:  Definitely out

Wedding rings on or off:  Off - even the fake extra large one

Happy or moody most of the time:  Ready to have the baby!

Looking forward to:  Uhhhh...having the baby!!

35 Weeks...and 4 days

This week has been pretty sucky as far as pregnancy goes.  I think I'm almost hitting wall of "is it over yet?!"  Almost.  I'm trying really hard to just suck it up but a girl has her moments.

This week, we went up to the birth center to get the swelling situation checked out.  I had been getting some higher than normal for me blood pressures and a few other symptoms.  I had a thorough exam and my blood pressure was actually a little better.  Just chalking it up to swollen preggo feet - or I lovingly refer to them as "elephant legs".

Then Thursday morning, the back pain started.  It had been lingering in one spot every time I lay down but then it persisted 24/7.  My plan was to head into work but come home once the second nurse came in (the third nurse was on vacation) but then she called in sick with pink eye.  Boom.  Out for two days.    Friday afternoon, the baby must have shifted or something because the pain was basically gone!  Hallelujah!!!  I was feeling saucy the rest of the day and had a date with my love...awwww!  We even went shopping for a baby shower dress.  It's not going to hide the elephant legs but it is cute.  Maybe no one will notice?

But then.  The pain came back last night :(  With a vengeance.  Today has been spent hobbling around the house, ice and heating pad on my back, some Tylenol, and lots of sitting on my butt.  The glider even got moved into the bedroom...and that's where I may sleep tonight.

Enough of the whining!  Suck it up mamacita!!  You got this!

Highlight of the week - pedicure!!  And then coming home to a box of half donuts.  Jess has a thing for donuts (who doesn't!?) and checked out a new donut store today.  This could be TROUBLE!


How far along: 35 weeks and 4 days

Total weight gain: Who the hell cares anymore

Maternity clothes:  Yup.  Feeling excited about my maternity dress for the shower tomorrow!

Symptoms: The belly button has popped - the turkey is done!

Stretch marks: Still only the one.  I was starting to make my peace with getting a few more so that's a good thing!

Sleep: Oye.  Sleep is becoming challenging

Best moment of this week: Friday afternoon feeling the best I've felt in about a week!  And a date with my love.  Possibly our last prebaby date!

What's new this week:  18 inches and 5 1/4 pounds!  There's 5 1/4 pounds of baby in there - holy crap!!   He's about to bulk up big time - brace yourself back!  That's pretty much all he's up to in there.  Just getting his chunky on.  I love that I feel like he has a little personality already.  I feel like he loves food because he moves like a wild man whenever I eat.  I know all babies probably do that but I like to think he loves food like his moms do.

Miss anything:  Walking normally.  Sleeping.

Movement:  All day, every day - and I could use one movement in particular this very second

Food cravings:  None in particular - ice water is pretty awesome these days

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope

Have you started to show yet:  Ooooooh yeah.  Last night for date night, I had chosen to wear a teal maxidress to dinner.  Well, I was in the bathroom drying my hands and one of the hostess ladies walked in and I took her by surprise.  She let out an "Oh WOAH! When are you due!?"  Yeah lady, big ole preggo right here.  Take your size zero and keep walking...

Gender:  Still my little man

Labor signs:  Nothing too exciting.  Some Braxton Hicks here and there and an occasional crampy cramp but nothing to write home about

Belly button in or out:  Out 100%.  That was fun trying on dresses yesterday - can you see my belly button in this?  How about this?

Wedding rings on or off:  Off.  I miss them.

Happy or moody most of the time:  Yesterday, happy when he moved!  I felt like a new woman!

Looking forward to:  BABY SHOWER TOMORROW!!!!!  My sister has been working so hard.  I can't wait to see all of the touches she's been working on...and eat one of these lemoncello cupcakes she's been talking about!

The Chair Drama Continues...

Well, the rocking chair situation continues...

We went to Buybuybaby a few weeks ago, the baby megastore that gives me chest pains every time I walk in, and sat on all of the gliders. "Just to test them out", of course. We sat in every single chair and tried to envision the middle of the night feedings, the sick baby who won't sleep unless held, the bedtime stories, and all of the other snuggly happy baby/cranky baby moments. There was this one chair - that's always how it starts - that was head and shoulders more comfy than the rest. It was a glider (and I don't like the look of gliders) that reclines AND continues to glide! Genius. The other gliders only recline when locked and that's not terribly fun. And there was an ottoman.

Here's the problem. That sucker was like $900 for the set! No way that was going to fly on our budget. What's the solution?? Craigslist to the rescue! I think I must have stalked Craigslist for a few weeks solid before we found THEE one. We picked it up on Mother's Day and it's been hanging out in the kiddo's room ever since, just waiting for some free time to make a slip cover. We scored that bad boy for less than $200 - yay Craigslist!!

I got some swatches from the fabric store and we debated back and forth about the color. Does gray go with dark brown wood? Do we paint it white? Do we have too much yellow in the room? Is this yellow too bright? Nah - yellow is just fine! I'd like to get some fabric covered buttons to do a little upholstery finish on the back of it but I need to ask my friend who has a button maker machine. I have to say, I'm pretty pleased - and pretty comfortable!

And the final product...

34 Weeks

Welcome to the home stretch! Yaaaaay!!! That little munchkin is going to be in our arms soon enough.

This week has been a little rough at work. I don't know how the week after a little vacation/time off always results in a big ole mess. Busy busy busy this week! I was slowed down a little bit by the swollen feet. They've really taken a turn for the worse. (For those labor and delivery friends who happen to read the blog, I've been watching my blood pressure and my weight). I've tried compression socks, diabetic socks, herbal diuretic tea, herbal diuretic tincture, elevation, rest, super hydration...nothing seems to work. And I don't think I've had hardly any salt since 2012! The shoe of choice is flip flops. Thankfully, we have those blue surgical shoe covers at work so flip flops and shoe covers it is. Sometimes at the end of the day, it's just shoe covers! Six more weeks of pillow feet and cankles? Oye...

Jessica has been amazing. For the past few weeks, Jessica has been adding a freezer meal to her weekly dinner plan. I think she has three or four dinners stashed in the freezer ready to roll for post baby dinners. On Saturday morning, she also cleaned the crap out of the entire house. She chugged along on the baby's room, which had become a dumping ground for the past few weeks. I like that she's nesting too - teehee! Hopefully some nursery pictures will be coming in the next few weeks.


How far along: 34 weeks

Total weight gain: We're not going there now that we've got some water weight on board.

Maternity clothes: Scrubs are the main staple at work. I got some bigger pants from Walmart and my shirts still fit so it's nice to not have to worry about what dress casual maternity disaster should I wear today. I don't miss those mornings!

Symptoms: Swollen feet, big baby rolls, oh yeah - and a big ole baby belly!

Stretch marks: Still just the one pesky one

Sleep: So, I may have fallen asleep on the couch Friday afternoon from 6:30-9, woke up, ate dinner, and went to bed. Then took a 3 hour nap on Sunday. Sleep is good. I feel like it's first trimester all over again!

Best moment of this week: Coming home after work on Saturday to see Jess working away in the baby's room. And then spending some time with my love at the Durham Bulls game on Saturday night. Those moments are going to be few and far between after he makes his big debut

What's new this week: Let's see - he's about 4 3/4 pounds, 18 ish inches long and getting chubbier by the minute. His fat layers will help keep him warm after he's born - but he's got two mommies to help with that! His central nervous system is maturing and his lungs are maturing as well! It's good to know that he'll do really, really well if he was born this early. Bring it on baby! Well, maybe a few more weeks.

Miss anything: I miss my engagement ring. And I miss alcohol. And I miss my old walk - this waddle is cracking me up!

Movement: Big baby rolls and occasional jabs. He's so cute already haha!

Food cravings: Watermelon is still high on the list

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nothing in particular

Have you started to show yet: Oooooooh yes

Gender: Still a boy

Labor signs: I had a good run of Braxton Hicks the other day and one actual crampy cramp. But nothing significant

Belly button in or out: The turkey timer is done! Time for baby to come out!

Wedding rings on or off: Off :(

Happy or moody most of the time: I'd vote for happy

Looking forward to: MEETING MY BABY!!!!!!! Hurry up little dude, I can't wait to see you!


And now...the feet and all their glory. Behold!

BEACH!!!!

We've been planning a beach weekend with some friends, for what feels like forever now, and it finally came this past weekend! YAY! Four couples, four doggies, and TONS of sunshine and laughs!

We got everything organized and headed down on Friday for the long weekend. We got a four bedroom condo on the second row from the water. As much as I like organizing trips, I always get a little anxious picking the place to stay - is it going to suck, is it going to be dirty, is it going to be all broken down and crappy? No, nope, and no way Jose! It was just the perfect size for everyone. If we had all king size beds, then we'd be in business. But the girls were so sweet - biggest preggo gets the biggest bed. And now Jess and I need to buy a new set of mattresses...

Saturday we got up early, because of the doggies and the full time job routine, ate yummy breakfasts (thanks Megan!), and moved the party down to the beach. And pretty much stayed there until the sun was almost down/we got hungry for dinner. Who doesn't love a rousing game of Catch Phrase!? I swear, I love that game. It never fails to be a good, loud, laughing time.

Sunday was a repeat of Saturday - and that was a-ok! There were maybe a few additional drinks and a pair of socks due to some burnt feet but overall, wonderful day! The girls were so sweet again - dinner that night was complimented with celebratory mocktails (YUMMM!), a thoughtful birthday card, and a cake in celebration of my birthday today.

Monday was whomp whomp. We had to pack it up and come home. During a long walk on the beach with my sweetums, we discussed how we felt about the beach trip. And by that, I mean that we both viewed the beach trip as a last hoorah before the baby comes. With us getting ready to go home, it sort of hit us (well, hit me) that I'm at the tail end of the pregnancy and he'll be here before we knew it. It's crazy to say that we're going to have a baby. It's crazy that he's going to be curled up in our arms soon. It's crazy that he could literally come at any point. It's crazy that our lives are going to be forever different because he is in it. I can't wait to meet that sweet little being and I can't wait to see him in my wife's arms.

And now some beach pictures and some swollen cankles. And no, we didn't make that big spot on the carpet...